=lEadiN a liFe oF iLluSioN=

2004-05-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

well..haf a new blog..new layout..new evrything..
haha..
i dun liek this ler..
gonna move on with life..
shant dwell on da past..
wads over is over..
i've learnt my lessons..
derived my joy and pain..
and now its time ta let it go..
i just hope i can..
x|..well.. anyone who comes here..
jus go ta this pg..
strong>MY NEW BLOG!
www.mayhem_menance.blogspot.com

2004-05-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

hmmx.. havent updated in a while..
well..exams are over..
did damn badly fer eng lar..
and maths and chinese..
aiyar..jus disappointed with eng..
lolx..but there's still exams i can do well in..
track...throws arent THAT bad le..
=)..lalala..reallie wanna ged into team..
okae..den..signed up fer sailing too..
WHEEEEeeEE..den it shall be kayaking..
den board sailing..den biking..
yeA!.. lolx.. found sumwhr i can play ball too..
either with tape player or wq..or..michelle..
haha.. life's fun..
dun be down in da dumps..
aint worth worrying..
jus ged ya guitar out and strum..
lolx..think i'm lame..
jus felt like writing..
yay..
shall make my blog nice..
if i can...

2004-05-09T05:30:00.000-07:00

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun
Or fester like a sore—

And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—

Like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

its hoovering over my head
drying up and festering..
stinking like nothing has ever stinked..
burdening me wit e load tht i nvr thot i would have..
all b

2004-04-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

got into thai trainin camp thingy..
i think..
haix..it'll be all e more hurtin
when i ged kicked outta team afta dis..
a bit no hope..
=X..anwy..tmr's chinese exam..
whad m i doin online now man..
fail..fial..flai..flia..fila..fali..FAIL..w

2004-04-19T04:26:00.000-07:00

hah..dis rocks..
great throws man..
i luv it..
cudnt even do a proper one..
wad e hell..
haha..yay..
i'm not gonna make da team fer natx..
all 3 yrs useless..
wuahahaha..
great time tht was wasted!..
all this rocks..
muh parents ROCK TOoo!..
yay!..dun even botha ta undastand..
i'm jus gettin da freakin blame for everythin..
anythin tht goes wrong..
whose name gets shouted out?
ME of cos!..haha..
YAY!..i'm great huh..
cant believe dis man..
its da best tym in muh life..
seeing ppl pass when i studied liek hell..
n failed..
seeing da unfairness of life..
haha..all i've gotta sae is..
I wanted God in muh life afta kaal ho na ho..
afta really knowin His greatness..
now.. its still the same as before..

2004-04-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

well..sports dae sucked..
totally off form..
nothin ta sae abt muh throws..
dint even do a pb..=X..
haix..hope God'll help me thru tmr..
real afraid..

2004-04-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

well..its been 2 daes...
on da dae itself..
really dunno wad happened
nearly broke down b4 da comp..
arm hurt so much..
just..dunno wad happened..
afraid of wad da results wud be liek..
=X..prayed tht i wudnt hafta throw..
or tht if i had to..
prayed tht God wud take awae da pain..
well..God was gud..
he answered muh prayer..
really thankful..
had lightning den rain..
really hope God'll help me in da comp..
most prob on dis comin sundae..
All Glory is His eventually no matter wad happens..=)

2004-04-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

four more hrs...
shits..freaked out.
i wanna do well..
i've done all i cud..
i'm back ta God now..
feel so much more at peace..
kaal ho naa ho..i've chosen..
now i noe...gonna try ta obey Him..
haiz..just hope He'll bless me..
n protect me todae...
must rmbr muh whip..
power position..
everything..
wads with me..i'd better throw a pb..

2004-04-10T06:02:00.000-07:00

its tmr..
finally..
da dae's finally here.
how will i fare?
how will i cope?
bleahx..seriously freaked out man..
arm hurts liek shit..
aiming for wad i cant do..
argh..
God, pls help me..i beg u Lord..
sucha lost gal..

2004-04-08T04:49:00.000-07:00

why m i liek dis?..
got pissed off wit bra dey all..
was stressed out afta class..
den..ayex..dunno lar..
n raihana last minute back out..
liek..wth..den started ta ged da blame..
not doin a gud job n stuff..
bleah..i tried..but no one noes..
i'm sorry..guess it realli was muh fault..
shudnt haf taken up da position at all..
dint do muh job well..
jus too selfish..thot onli abt muh throws..
even tho i'm doin badly there..
it wudnt hurt ta stop thinkin bt it fer awhile..
right?..well..anw..
wad's done is done..
have jus gotta apologise ta dem..
feel really guilty..=| haiz..
wads wrong with me..
nothin's goin right..

2004-04-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

sucks lar...
f*ck offf..

2004-03-30T06:35:00.000-08:00

sux..so pissed..
argh..cant stand him..
biased ass..
wadeva..
dunno wads happenin ta me..
one messed up asshole..

2004-03-30T06:24:00.000-08:00

realli f-ed up....
blardy arse..
cant stand him..biased bastard..
aye..wadeva..dun gif a damn..
not worth a damn either...
dunno wad is wrong wif me man..
jus one messed up kid..

2004-03-23T06:13:00.000-08:00

sick sick sick!..
sicko!..bleah..failed lit..
wow..i'm so hyper..
jus cant believe it..lolx..
i FAILED LIT!!...

2004-03-19T08:33:00.000-08:00

last dae of hols...bleah.. its jus..GONE..anw..da sports psychology talk was gud lar.. how ta relax..etc etc..not bad lar..jus hope dat.. it'll help me overcome muh fears.. n stuff lidat..realli realli wanna do well fer jav..lolx..mr seem made me do shot put..like..wow.......... sooooOo surprised it was THAT heavy lohx..i mean..its 4k lar.. wad ta expect..but.. dint think it wud be THAT heavy!!.. how do those ppl throw it man!..like..????!??!?!??!.. peifu dem lo.. den todae had muscle ache liek dunno wadd..da whole arm can jus not be dere at all lo.. cant feel it at all..lolx..c ant wait fer sportx dae... wanna see da standards..23m? 24m?..or nt even 20??.. bleah..must set HIGH yet ACHIEVABLE goals.. must psych muhself up..lolx..wadeva..

2004-03-16T05:55:00.000-08:00

feelin so damn lousy..cant ged muhself ta study..
just slacking the whole..FREAKING hols awae..
cant stand it!!..wad da freak is wrong with me!..
is there ANYTHING i can do!?!/..
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-uuuuuu-....
argh..cant let out da stress lar..
just dunno how ta explain this..
crap..i'm jus one confused ass now..

2004-03-12T07:24:00.000-08:00

YAY..term OnE's OVER...
tym ta celebrate..
wow...one term gone..
time flown awae..
time wasted..
studies down da drain..
celebrate pple..
=X..bein reallu crappy now..
chem test sucked lar..
misread da whole qns..
gonna fail..jus liek evrythin else..
bleah..wenta watch dirtee dancing..
lolx..so farniee..
but very sweet too..lolx...
i wanna watch 50 first dates!!!!..
luks damn funny..i'm sooo gonna watch..
dun care..i wanna watch!!..
and da otha one too..
da thailand one...lolx..
havent enjoyec myself in so long..
haix..

2004-03-11T05:52:00.000-08:00

kaex...tht dae jus a bit overwhelmed..
by a math..totally sux lar..
bleah..anw..tmr got chem test aft skl..
stuUupid..gotta stay back..
argh..but got lots of stuff ta finish…
compo..e math, a math..chem ws..
bleagh…had da sports psychology talk..
like..WOW..very useful..bleah..hope it helps tho..
but very interesting..
haix..hols comin..must make gud use of it..
like..cant afford ta slack anymore..
wanna treasure da tym as much as possible..
but still cope wit studies..
and train hard ta achieve muh goals..
arghhh..wadeva..
think i'm jus gonna break down soon..
=X..jade tok so much.......bleahx..

2004-03-09T05:46:00.000-08:00

tadae was damn sucky...
failed my first maths test in 2 1/2 yrs..
crap..a maths summore..
thot i cud pass..but i dint..
studied my ass off but it still dint pay off..
wads da use?
same thing..studied lit ydae..
read 12th nite over n over again..dint help..
todaes test sucked..jus cudnt write anything..
thinkin too much bout da test results..
haix..king of da castle worse..
nearly blank..jus one pathetic page full of crap..
freak..studied til 2+ last nite..
revising homework studying..bleah..
everythin jus goes down da drain..
training was worse..
broke down after warm up jog..cudnt help it..
felt so stressed..all da feelings pent up..
dint wanna cry in fronta evryone..
as if i wan dem ta pity me n crap..sucky..
n vivian had ta kip on asking why i so sad..
neva smile..=X..i'm jus a pathetic failure..
training sucked too..
going thru such a tough time...
so afraid..

2004-03-07T00:31:00.000-08:00

just so tired.

2004-03-05T07:55:00.000-08:00

totally stressed out...
everydae is jus torture..
how i ged thru it i dunno..
so many things happenin all at once..
cant take da pressure..
cant run awae..cant escape no matter how much i want..
wasting my daes awae..
thnx ta wq n jade fer deir crappy stuff..
=)..britens muh dae lots..
ayex..gtg study...
six tests next week..
cant believe dis.....

2004-02-25T04:36:00.000-08:00

OAC IS OVERRr!!..whEee...
oh man..liek..wad a relief?!...
lolx..damn tired cann??..
took a lift home frm Sasha...
den slept slept slept til..ard..5??!..
4 hrs straight lo...
sleep deprived kae..
sum stupid kiasu idiert woke da whole camp up at 5!!!..
n it was SUPPOSED ta be at 6!!?!?!?..or 5.30!!..
*pEngS*..haha..anyway..3M rocks lar!...
whEEee..(cept fer sum pplee...-.-)
haha..n vithya just HAD to teach el da kottei song..
liek..*shiverz*..so gross kae!!!..
i shall not say wad it means here..
cos..its damn damn damn damN GROSSS!!!!..
argh..n da great el kept on singin it thruout da whole dae!!..
disgusting..
n bathing tym was SHORT!!!!
wahahahaahha..but INSTRUCTOR rachel..valerie n lijie rawked!!!..
dey gave us xtra xtra tym in exchange fer silence!..
wheee!!..-_-"'..at least i got ta wash up properli on da 2nd dae..
haha..ohhh!!..n high elements was FUN FUN FUN!!..
but canoeing ROCKS DA MOST!!!
omg..it was da best kae!!..
i mean..not say very exciting lar..
but da water confidence part was ok..
n canoeing ROCKS!!!>.wuahhahahhahahahahaha..
i luvvvveeeee it soooooOO much k!!..
lolx..learnt how ta "raft"..n how ta change partners..
but pity we dint get da do it in a nicer place with capsize drill n all..
so sad kae..shall go write in da survey dat MUST have it next yr!!
haahhaha..but mealtyms totally sux....
sit stand sit stand..*diAo*..
n da leaders were...erm..welll..ok..
haha..some were niCeeeEe..
but some of dem crazee liaox..
haha..leader TINA very niceee!!..lolx..
as in..she dint have e 'i'm a leader u must listen' attitude lo..
she's like..e 'pls listen cos i nid ta expln' type..
lolx..anyway..sum of da instructors suck too..
lalalala..gtg!..

2004-02-21T19:08:00.000-08:00

ouchss...had diaheorrea?..still cant ged da spelling rite..
=X..den missed training..cudnt ged up..
whole nite spent in da toilet??..
lolx..den went church..
had memory quiz....
wuahhaahhahaha..i jus sat dere n did NOTHIN..
lolx..den went out.,.
found out no moneyy!!..
lolx..buy da mrt ticket dat tym..i short of 5 cents!!..
den steffy no money..ting dun haf..i dun haf..
n caron zhao liaox..stuUupid..

2004-02-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

had a maths test ydae.....
=X..totally lost..just wrote down da qns..
answered one or two qns..
den just stared at it fer one whole period..
was just so..shocking?..no..
not shocking..just..dunno wad ta do..
den after e test..i jus sat dere doin nothin..
ppl were liek complainin n stuff..
i dunno lar..den...i just teared...
twice summore..its like..da first time i handed in such a paper..
all empty..n not knowing wat to do at all...
like..everythin else i've done...
never ever faced something whr i had totally no idea?..
so gonna hafta drop a maths..

2004-02-17T06:21:00.000-08:00

okiex..well..last few daes very stressful but very..'entertainin'..
haha..bad stuff first..i HATE E MATHS..
totally dun understand wadeva's bein taught..
den so many tests too..cant really cope..
=X..den so much ta do..haix..dunno lar..
but anw..v dae was greaaatt..
went out wit serena..steffy n ting..
crazee peepx..esp stef n ting!..
lolx..childish ppl..
haha..anyway..broke muh specs ydae..
lolx..den todae trainin..skool..crap lar..
so irritatin..cannot see!..
durin english lesson so maluatin too!..
bleah..den trainin..i thot i saw da ground ta be higher..
soo..i 'stepped higher' durin e run up..and i fell!!!
so stupid kae!!
liek..just trip over nothin!!!..-_-'"'..
anyway..it was chao ji chao ji lame lo..
laugh non-stop..bleah..

2004-02-13T06:56:00.000-08:00

bleahx...thinkin more n more..
quite scary..dunno wad ta sae too..
crap!

2004-02-12T05:30:00.000-08:00

little shaken by ad has happened..
as in..i dunno..=X
bleah..i dint noe dat gal..but..
its liek its rather..dunno..
liek..she's so young..
my age..my skl...like..its so..close?..
i dunno..feelin kinda like..thoughtful?..
jus gone..one dae she's here da next..she's not..
so many things undone..so many things unsaid..
i'm not sure..
like..i dunno..i mean..i dint even KNOW her..
and i'm feelin liek this...wad abt her classmates..
tchrs?..frens?..=X
makes me wanna treasure everythin i have now..
and dun ever do wad she's done..
bleah..dunno why i'm feelin like dis too..
tryin ta keep my mind outta it..
crapper..hope those ppl affected will be okae..
da skl seems quieter too..
even in class..so different..
dint noe dis cud make such a difference..
if she had known..wud she still haf done it?..
i'm still quite shocked..=X..i dunno..

2004-02-06T22:16:00.000-08:00

my throws totally sucked tadae!..
i'm onli throwin..21, 22 plus!!!
damn sucky can!..
and i'm aiming fer 26 by nationals..
mission impossible..
very depressed by muh throws..
i jus dunno wads da prob...
wanna do all i can ta improve on it..
=X..it'd BETTER improve..or i'll jus go and whack e wall..
its so damned irritatin..
all those leg exercises mr seem haf made us do..
dey dun seem ta show any results..
i noe my leg power is lousy..
but nothin i do seems ta work!..
crap..and saw dat blardy toh so many tymx..
liek my throws so lousy is bad enough lo..
still havta see dat blardy idiot..
=\..how can anyone be so suay....

2004-02-05T05:29:00.000-08:00

liek WOW...da week passes chao ji fast lo..
nows anotha thurs ler..
tym passes by so fast..tryin ta catch up wit it..
..well..anw..jtoh just TOTALLY totally totally suX!!
=X..jus dunno wad ta sae..
bleah..wth..i'm not in it..i dun care!..
=D.......=(..sux la..cant stand it liaox..keep on thinkin bt bball..
blardy hell..so irritated..wanna concentrate on track oso cannort..
tryin my best..but it dun seem ta work!..
haiz..my leg power totally sucks too..
cant seem ta improve on dis!..
and it'll make a beeeg difference lo!..damn..
i wont improve if dis goes on..=X..
anw..wadeva..mrs yeo is BoORinG!..EeeEyeR..
e maths sucks lo..dun understand wad she tokin..
haha..i'm soooo gonna score in e maths liek dis!..
crap..

2004-01-31T07:28:00.000-08:00

nowx oreadi sat..
bleah..sucha stressful year..
liek..i'm gonna have FOUR tests in TWO daes..
liek..WTH??..sucks can..
arghx..well..wadeva lar..studyin liek day in n out?..
=X..not really but almost..bleahx..
well..not much ta write..i mean..a lot..but..
liek..too tired ta write...=X

2004-01-29T05:19:00.000-08:00

almost two weeks liaox..
tym realli passed so fast..
soon..it'll be sports dae..
den nationals..IF i can ged into da team..
=X..luking forward ta dat lar..trainin hard too..
ayex..had lots of tests liaox..
stressed out..

2004-01-17T21:07:00.000-08:00

tadae's sundae...
liek..wow..da week passed chao fast can?
mondae was liek..harrr..one more week of skl..
den thurs was okie..can tahan..one more dae..
friday was..=Dlast dae liao!!
den todae is shits..tmr got skl..
havent done homework!!..
lolx..physics totally rawks k..
its soooo easy...
as in...reflection n refraction of lights lar..
=X..haha..chem rawks too..
so interesting lo..
and i'm startin ta find dat e maths sucks too..
=(..i've owaes thot maths was funn!..
now it isnt....
at least not with dat senile old mrs yeo teachin me..
hEe..n i soooOo lURVE lit okae!!...
dat rawks da most can!!..haha...
12th nite is damn stupid...hahaha..
crazy ppl inside..
lolx..da onli thing dat sucks now is cheena class...
emaths n ss!!!!..
lolx..wadeva lar..hahaha..3/M just sooo RawKs!!!
anw..training's been..ermm..tiring??..sumwhat lar..
liek..mr seem's concentratin alot on leg power..
ayex...bballers first match is in 3 daes tym...
-_-..still can rmbr how i counted down to it???
liek..LAME..bleah..

2004-01-14T04:04:00.000-08:00

skl was okae today..
very slack..first period had yue du che yan..
=X..dint even BUY da booOring bk..
lolx..den english..free period again..
den ss..so gao siao..
liek..wadeva..-_-..den cme..n ss lecture..
bleah..like..can die of boredom?
but..fyne..it wont last..den rot at home...
went cyclin again..lolx..
i totally LuRvEee da feel of da wind in my face..
its like..so carefree ta chiong down a hill at FULL SPEED..
while standing..i mean..like i can let go of everythin..
just for the few precious moments?..
bleah..feel so much inspiration ta write too..
its like..all da vocab i've learnt..
it jus surfaces when i speed..but i start thinkin too..
all sorta stuff..n bt bball again..bleahx..
its so ironic..one minute i'm goin down da slope feelin
on top of da werld..n da next..i'm nearly crying..
dunno..jus feel so weird dese daex..like wadeva..
argh..da more i try ta ignore bball..
da more i think bt it..jus got rid of all my bball stuff in my rm..
dunt wanna make myself think bt it when i'm studyin..
haix..i dunno...just PURE CONFUSION..

2004-01-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

dun realli noe how ta express muhself..
suddenli been thinkin more n more bt bball..
dunno why too..=X
liek..?? why does bball cum up so often in my mind..
class...PE??..esp durin trainin!!..
wanna ferget everythin?..
i mean..i'd rather not rmbr anythin than keep on regrettin wad i did..
cant ged wq's words ta work..
shudnt regret at all..jus train hard..n achieve wad i can..
i dunno..jus suddenly feel so lost..
thot i've gotten over it..
now it seems i havent..
why else do i keep on thinkin bout it?..
wanna sae wadeva..jus sae fergeddit..sae i dun care..
but sumhow i jus cant..
well..anw..on happier tones..
hweiyun came back ta visit durin trainin..=)
her siao self as usual..
wondering if i'll still feel wad i felt when all da snrs were dere..
it jus seems so..different..
not realli sure wad i'm doin..wad i'm thinkin..
evry thot is jus floatin ard sumwhr in my brain..
cant seem ta grasp it..
wish i cud sae i'm concentratin hard in track..
trainin wit my heart n soul..i want to..
but..somehow..evry throw seems to like..
make me regret more?..
i'm jus not sure...
nothin's sure..

2004-01-10T19:35:00.000-08:00

ytd had trainin..n it sucked..
cudnt ged da feelin back..
den did sooooo many lunges..
=X..poor legs...
anw..durin weights..
da bballers were down dere settin up deir booth..
argh..it was so wad lo..
i was down dere doin step ups..
n i felt..i dunno..
somehow i jus started tinkin of bball agn..
just missed da trainin..jiaolian..da ppl..
arghx..den started tearing..just liek dat..
i'm so blardy stupid..
if pigs can fly..den i'll be back in bball..
but pigs cant..n i'm not in bball..
wth..i jus wanted ta go home n wait til da exhibition was over..
damned sucky..n its impossible ta do half squats while thinking of dat..
bleah..wadeva...

2004-01-02T03:58:00.000-08:00

arghx..carnt stand it liaox..
da stupid blogger sumhow erased da post..
i'm nort gonna bother wit it liaox..
booOring..

2003-12-22T07:37:00.000-08:00

argh..rushing lm's picture now..
damn..dunno if my printer's working..=X
shits..den gotta rush homework..
rush playing worms..
rush da pressies!!..aHHhHhhHHH!..
din noe dat hols cud be so stressful..
diaos..goin off ta phuket tmr..
gonna spend xmas nite on a BOAT..
in da middle of some ocean..
-__-"'..like.."wow"..
lolx..but i'm gonna be fishingg and fishing..
and fishing..and canoeing..and canoeing..
haha..i seriously dun think there's anythin else there..
besides water sports stuff..
hEe..cant wait..
blEah..but i'm gonna miss da xmas partyy!!..
=(..well..wadeva..i gotta go chiong my homework now..
hafta hand in tmr..and i'm still on my 2nd assignment..
"whEeeEeeeEEEee!!!"=X

2003-12-12T07:57:00.000-08:00

woah..da kids camp is FINALLY over!..30 hrs of CIP in da bag..haha..next yr no need do le..-_-''oh man..but it wasn't easy..lost muh voice..lost my temper a few tyms too!..=X..lolx..da boys are totally UNCONTROLLABLE k!..*biSh*..durin games i planned ta curtain game and whacko..den..during da curtain game..some irritatin guys from my group kept on peeping over da "curtain" and running around da hall..pek chek can!..use mike oso no use..in da end..a;; da campers kena scoldin from auntie winnie..hahahaha..poor pple!..lolx..nort my probelm..hEe..den we had water gamess!!..lolx..in da last game..all da leaders (including ME) had ta stand in a STRAIGT line and let da campers CHOOSE who they wanted ta bomb!!!..n soooo many ppl bombed me!!..led by my group..and auntie winnieee!!..arghhh..n it wasnt onli water..it was a MIX of water n flour..water and green tea..water n SOYABEAN MILKKK!!!>.*pUkeSSS*..totally soaked thru can!..so gross!.. nottie campers.. argh.. just had talent time..sooooo pissed off with my group.. dis stupid guy was s'posed ta act DEPRESSED..and wad did he do??..he LAUGHED and GIGGLED his wae thru his lines!!..liek..WAD DA HELLLLL???..eeeergh!..so we ended up doing a song which totally sucked..but da otha parts of da camp was pure FUNNN!!..haha.. i carnt belief it k..30 hrs of CIP..fer FUN AND GAMESSS!!!..WHEEeeeeEE..haha..

carnt wait to get back to trainin..yAyynEss!..

*i sae HEY HEY its cold in here! we nid da shadow-X in da atmosphere!* WHEEEEeeeeeeee!! -___________-"'' (i'm going kEraiZeeE)

2003-12-09T05:44:00.000-08:00

stupid blogger..cannort access da sites anymore..

2003-12-08T07:43:00.000-08:00

okiex..havent really been updating..
been on really bad terms wit muh mum recently..
dunno wads gotten into her..
or is it me?..bleah..
liek..wadeva..training RAWKS!!!!..
we're startin JAVELIN alreadiiiiI!!!!!..
wHeeEEEe.. i totally LURVE javelin..
so long never touch..haha..
ayex..muh knee's hurtin..went cyclin da otha dae..
den cycled fer quite long befer goin ta watch da match..
think sumhow i strained it?..=X very painn..
bleah..den i wenta watch da match fr outside..
watch da match dat tym.. ermm..
quite sad?..regretful?..a lil angry??
yeas..den afta dat i really pissed..
oso dunno fer wad..den really pushed myself..
made a pact wit myself i'll reach my goal of 27 in sports dae..
and maintain it durin caltex..den improve to 29 in natx..
okie..mebbe a bit kua zhang..
but i'll do it..

2003-12-01T04:43:00.000-08:00

See what Care Bear you are.
i doubt i am..haha..sometyms onli..=X

2003-12-01T04:14:00.000-08:00

wheee..i gotta TAG BOARD now...
finally!!..hahha..
all thanks to da superrrr nice joleneeeee!!!
=D=D=D=D haha..thAnkS gUrl!!..
hee..din noe when ya becum sho nice wan.. =P
lolx..
ayex..holidae over le..mixed feelings..
i liek it n i liek it nort..heE..
tmr must hand in homeworkkk!!.. =X..
i'm jus so dead k!..arghx..

2003-11-28T21:38:00.000-08:00

still in hong kong..no tym ta write anotha long entry.. cos da blardy com went to hang on me!!! idiott!!!..den i finish typing da second tym den muh greatttt cleverrr cousin went ta pull da dunnno wad plug outta da com..and da whole screen went BLANKKK!!!.. *EEERRGGHHhhhhh* weell..anyway.. hongkong's quite booring!..haha.. like nuthing ta do at al one!.. went sightseeing and wasted tym luking at booring ART MUESUEMS!!! *spell correct??* damn.. hahah..but da space muesuem was cool!...dere was dis moonwalk thingy dat let ya feel as if ya're walking on da moon.. and i felt so lite!!..haha.. *roLls eyeZS* den gort dis ting whr ya rotate 360 deg..okiex..gtg.. update anotha tym

2003-11-25T07:43:00.000-08:00

hmmx..okiex.,.
in hong kong now..jus checked muh guestbk..
dat STUPID JADE NEVA LEAVE NOTEEEEE!!...
*kAbiSh*..
weeelllx..da roller coaster was damneeddd coolll!!!
haha,..sat it..how mani tyms??..abt..4 i tink!!..
haha..bleahss....sianned..gtg..shall update tmr,..wuahhahaha..

2003-11-23T07:13:00.000-08:00

bleahx..todae totally sucked..
but yesterdae rawked man..
haha..kk..da retreat was cool..=D
went dere ard..5.30..got lost..but reached dere..
watched hi-five!!!.. -_____-"'
lolx..da dinner was nicee..=)
den ard..like..11?..started da movie marathon..
haha..chao fun..heE..
watched final destination2..*sHivErx*
scareee lehx..haha..
den..car broke down..*biSh*..
made me like..CHAoooooOOo late fer trainin!
and my mum was damned angry wit me..
i dunno why..haix..
think we nid a coolin off period???..
we're nort on very gud terms lately..
but..yea..argh..well..
i'll be leavin fer hong kong tmr..
so..yupperx..pray i dun kena quarantine or sth..
eeyer..anw..i'm sorta sad ta miss trainin..
lalalalalax..
i gort a new guestbook!!!!!..wheee!

2003-11-23T07:11:00.000-08:00

okie..weelll..dis blog is nort exactly done yet..
haha..but shall leave it till afta muh hol..
kinda busy nowadays..
gonna revamp muh room...
finish muh homework..
pack muh stuff (MAJOR CLEANUP)..
go fishing..
train muh ass off..
dis is funnnnnNN!NNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

2003-11-19T00:46:00.000-08:00

bleahx..okie..now..my tag board's GONE..
and my rite hand side column whr all da links were are gone too!!!
*soBx*..all becos i was careless..
chao stupid can..=X
luking fer a new skin now..all nort dat nice wan..
shittsss..
lalalala..well..i still have da rest of da skool hols ta do it..
so like..WHATEVER!!!..
i'm goin out now..WheEeeeEE!!..

2003-11-16T04:00:00.000-08:00

dis entry's dedicated to da stupid lamer..KOK SHAO YU..
*reluctant applause*.shaoyu: ya happy le????? =pPppPppPPPp
okie..todae..YM was chaooo keRazEe..
heex..okiE..mebbe serena will kill me fer dis..
but..LALALALALA..i dun care..=PppPpPPPpPpPpPPp
haha..weell..was sittin nex to her..xin en on her otha side..
den she was tokkin to stefie..and xinen was holdin da tray of wine..
and our ClEevErr SmaRt fRen...tuRned ard at da sound of her name..
and..*piAkkk*..da tray literally did a somersault and da wine n cups went flying...
i think evryone was staring in our direction..=X
centre of attention..haha..anw..luckily our cleveer fren din scream!!!
lolx..if she screamed..well..haha..
she wudnt wanna show her face in YM anymore..
haha..it musta been a nice entertaining welcum fer da p6s..
haha..dats bout it todae..was booring da rest of da dae..haha..
anw..i'm sooooo lookin forward to da retreat..haha..
its gonna be FUNnnnNNN..lolx..

2003-11-14T01:48:00.000-08:00

i'm siann..someone hellpppp!!..
lalalala..i've jus wasted anotha dae..
havent done much hw!!..die..
really no discipline ta wake up in da mornin n do my work..
howww!!..eeyerr..everydae at home..
becomin couch potato..
next wk is gonna be sooooo fun!!
i'm soo lookin forward to da retreat..
and da canoeing..
jolene:: lets sabo someone..wan anot??..haha..
woooo hooo!!!!..lolx..
but fer now..i'm sian sian sian..
bleahs..

2003-11-11T03:33:00.000-08:00

okie..i'm hypeerrrrr!!!!!!!!!
wuahahahhahahaha..my option got approvedd!!!!!
lolx..i'm studying pure lit!..lolx..
think its gonna be fun fun fun!!!!! even w/o bio..
hahahhahaha..lolx..
i wonder wad will happen if i change my mind again and appeal bac ta trip????
hahahahhahahahhaha..da tchrs are so gonna strangle me!!!!
lolx..i'm sooooo happy!!!!!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha..dis rocks man..
lalalallalalallalalallalalalallalallalalla...
*glass break*
haha..anw..todae was siannnedd!!!!
went ta pp macs ta study..=X still havent finish my hw!!!!!!!!
diee..lolx..anw..some arsseeeee *winX* made me buy fries fer her lunch!!!
HUH!! like fine lo!..lolx..
den went home..cycle in da rain awhile..
chao fun!..but veh cold..=X..okie..
i'm siao..but wth!..haha..
its funnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2003-11-10T06:47:00.000-08:00

oKiez..sat training totally rocked..
da onli thing was dat i nearly got hit by da dicus..
reallllll freaky..
i'm still sorta..traumatised by it..=X
damn scareee can!!..lolx..
accordin to da rest..it BARELY missed me lo..
like..?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
was halfway thru my spin..
den i saw dis shadow juz ova my shoulder..
din think it was a dicus but thot i shld jus zhao..
JUST IN CASE....haha..
and afta dat it landed on da ground n i was like..
?!?!?!?!?!?!?WTH..
jesmine screamed lo..=/
haha..i dun blame her..
mr seem was veh funny..he was holdin his hair in one hand..
and he took off his cap summore..
lolx..tink he looks funny w/o his cap..
realli freaky tho..God's grace protected me man..
othawise..=/..its 1 kg..considered chao heavy can..
haha..anws..dis whole wk no trainin..so sian..
bleah..i wanna train!!!
but i dowan do discus ler!!!!!! *soBx*
whr's my javelin!?!?!?!?!??!
=X

2003-11-06T05:47:00.000-08:00

lolx!..todae was totally crazy...
haha..and trainin totally rocked!!
wuahahhahhaa..
learnt how ta do da full discus spin!
haha..so complicated..
lolx..cannort control one..
but i jus carnt wait ta do javelin!!!!!
=X
den waited fer..like..2 hrs jus fer toh ta finish tokkin..
to da other sec2s..not me..haha..
but anw..was damn fun afta dat..
haha..went pacific plaza buy stuff..
den went heerens..met da snrs dere..=X
poor wq hadta wait fer me while i took neoprints wit da snrs..
haha..dey're chao ji siao can!!..
lolx..think dey're mad..haha..
had a funn fuunnnnnnn daeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
lolx..
really hope i ged into muh stream......................

2003-11-05T07:20:00.000-08:00

okiex..dis is da..4th time i'm writin dis entry..
damned com..
well..i got into trip science like mr chiang sed..
but..not xactly very happy bout it...
was hopin agnst hope mr chiang was wrong?
=X..so yea..
anw..i appealed into pure lit ss/geog..
reallyy hope i get in..
i sooooo wanna study lit..
bleahx..wad da hell..
dey carnt refuse me on results..
cos..i've done well enough fer lit n eng..
so..like mr chua sed..i can go anywhr i wan with my results..
tho i dunno if he jus anyhow sed infronta my mum..
=X..dotsx..haha..well..anw..
training RAWKS!!!!!!..
lolx..
didi discus dis two daes..
like shit can!!!!!!!...i wan my JAVELIN!!!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
=\..lolx..but discus is gettin a teeny weeny bit interesting..
haha..wadeva..JAVELIN still rockx!..
wuahahahaha..
JAVELIN RAWKX MY WERLD!!

2003-10-30T06:29:00.000-08:00

arghz..irritatin parents..
cant stand it..
fite dae n nite..
it neva stops..neva lapses..
dammit..bloody irritatin..
i dunno wad da hell is goin on in my family..
dunno da bloody problem..
everythin i do is wrong n i get scolded..
wth..nothin's enuff..
it has ta depend solely on their moods..
its gonna be da hols soon enough..
and obviously..pple watch tv durin their hols..
but all thnx ta my dad..
i haf NO TV ta watch.. pUh-lEaSe?!..
da tv is plugged in during exams n its disconnected in da hols?!..
like..whr da hell did their sense of logic go?!
arghz..da tour ta korea cud haf been booked by now..
but wad is he doin?!..
deciding on another location..
jus cos he REFUSES ta tk a package tour..
and da agencies dun have free n easy..
bloody arsee..
bleahs..
=lurve.training.throwers.R-A-W-K=

2003-10-26T05:01:00.000-08:00

lolx..had da greatest time of my life lo..
ocean ambassador was so fun!class chalet rawked too!!!
like..so damned fun can!..
haha..ocean ambassador first..really lots ta sae!!!!
okie..went inside turtle tanks..
cleaned it..so scaryy!!!haha..da turtles were chao bigg!!!
is like..da back is bigger den one school desk lo!!..
haha..den got one follow me all ova da place..scareee!!..hahah..but veh fun!..

den wenta clean da holding tanks which had..
crocodile fish..stingray..piranha's "cousins"..poisonous catfish..*shiver*
and da thing dat made it soooo gross was dat it was FULL of ALGAE up to waist deep water!!!
n it was like..2 storeys high!!..we had ta use a ladder ta go in..
haha..den sarah cried coz she was sooooo scared..
but was reallyyyyyy freaky..da fishes was GIGANTIC can!!..
yuckkkss!..it was TOTALLY GROSS..
-_-''..den went dolphin lagoon..haha..
saw da baby dolphin and otters!!!!!..so cute!!!!..
haha..da otters were playin with ice cos dey were feelin hot..
hahaha..veh nice..

lolx..den chalet!!!!..hahaha..
damn cool..invited ms lee..den did some sorta last mintue bbq..
haha..huiyi din even noe we s'posed ta have bbq..which is like..-_-"'
diaoers..reallyyyy fun!..den ms lee bbq-ed da food fer us..
like..we veh wad lo..ask her come is as if she come n cook for us onli..
haha..but she was entertained by lame jokes supplied by da lamers who were present..
reallyyyy nice..haha..veh siao!!!
yeppers!..den we did some..stuff...hahaha..
i'd better not say it here..*aHemm*
haha..den took soph's car ta lm's hse..lolx..
played chinese chess n scrabble till like..3+!!!?!??!
lolx..den woke up at 7.30..haha..damm tired now..haha
fun daes..wish it coulkd have lasted forever..dun wanna listen to their quarrells agn..
argh..
lalalala..training RAWKS!

2003-10-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

bloody hell..
sick n tired of all the quarrells..
cant stand it..
damned irritating..
i cant understand their bloody probelm..
dun dey get sick of this..
cant it ever stop..
day in day out..
there's always sth ta scold..nag..shout..
it never ends..
why?
really wanna get awae fr all this..
cant wait fer tmr..

2003-10-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

sick..
all thnx ta steffy peng!..
down wit da flu..
and i din go ta skl todae!
yea!!!..
hahaha..
but went fer trg afta skl ended..lolx..
so fun..
circuit training..
captn's ball..
lolx..
stupid tay..
dunno wthr he's serious anot..
damn..
crazy idiot..
just noticed cedar has a few..how to sae..
idiotic.moronic.mentallychallenged teachers..
like..
da toh of bball..
da tay of track..
da ooi of my class..
haha..
ok..
nvm..
i wanna sleep..
stupid headache..
arghz..
=lookingforwardtatrainingmyarseoff.tobringthrows ta greater heights=
THROWERS RAWK!

2003-10-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

arghz..pissed..
dammm..must hols owaes be so...sad?..unhappy?..
i mean..cant sth be decided upon...
and like..i dunno..haiz..
mite as well dun go lo..
it wun be a happy hol too..
its forever like this..evry hol has ta have arguements..
and i'm bein blamed fer not doin anything..
fer bein bo chup..
wadeva lar..
i dunt wanna go anw...
i wanna train..
and train..
and train..
and train summore..
anw..i hope we wont go..
bleahs..well..today was crappy..
got up on da wrong sida bed..
got introuble wit my mum da first thing in da mornin..
and i slpt thru da sermon cos i slpt at like..3 last nite?..
was reading my bk..den lost track of time..
den da idiertic woman behind me *HINT!*..
kept on waking me up..bleahx..
hmmz..
tmr getting back maths..n science..
hope God will ans my prayers..like He did fer eng..
i owe evrythin ta Him..
=wad can i give ta Ya fer all Ya've given me=

2003-10-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

welll..just got back english n chinese tadae..
like..happy lohs..i mean..
english..yea..i'm happy..did well..80..but yea..like..wadeva..
i mean..not like it makes any difference..
chinese ok..improved quite a bit...66.5..
but..wth..dunno wads my prob now..
like..so irritated with my parents..
haiz..dey seem ta side with him on every single matter..
n i'm da one who gets blamed fer a messy hse..
when..all my stuff are in my rm and my bro's bks are all over e place..
i mean..helloo??..take a look first can?..
arghz..nvm..exams are over..shall enjoy myself..
and train my arse off!!!
yAyz!
trainin starts on monday..am i thrilled or wad!?..HAHAHAHA!

2003-10-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

YAYYY!!!!!
exam over!!!!!!!!
woohooo!!!
i'm hyper lohz..
hee..
but maths exam totally sucked can!!?!?!?!
argh..ms lee still say she more compassionate..
my foot..
or mebbe she wan 40% fail..
instead of last yr 30% fail..
lolx..hope i did well..bleahs..
science can die...
haiz..but committed ta da Lord ler...
done my best...
lalalaz..today veh crappy
today went dis stupid place..
go iceskating..at kallang..
like..wth?!!?!?
stupid ppl dowan go jurong..
go those type of expensive.old.empty place..
den takeda shuttle bus out..
dun even noe whr we going..lolz..
but still fun..haha
its owaes fun ta spend da dae with crappy friends..
*ahEm* especially with e bimbo who got her bikini strings untied..
in the middle of B.K.HAHA!!!!

2003-10-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

okiez..
STILL stressed..
two weeks more to tahan..
wow..
and i'm bored of studying le..
how am i gonna ride it out?
bleahz..
was damn pissed off by dat ooi today..
arghz..
blind woman..
dunno how to read da reflections of da cme project..
say whr's all ya reflections why i cannot see..
whr's da conclusion..why da story cut into everything..
blah..
crap can!!!..
cannot see dat da reflections are part of da intro meh?
den conclusion was dere too k!..
stoooopid woman!!..arghz..
i told her whr da reflection n da conclusion was..
and u noe wad she said?!
dun come and argue with me ok..
i say this means this..u very rude u noe..
wah lau..pls lohz...
dunno how to read dun anyhow tok lo..
i think even a pri4 can see da reflection n conclusion lo!..
a**************************!!!!
arghz..
made me so pissed off..
dat arse din believe whatever we said lo..
tell her we did powerpt presentation she dun believe..
FINE LA!..
do i give a damn!?!
mark us down la!..
i bet we've put in more effort than most ppl who just copy n paste lo..
so bloody obivous..
=i.hate.her.hate.da.hypocritical.her.hate.da.short.squeaky.unreasonable.blind.and.unbelieving.b*t*h=
i dun care wthr i'm not s'posed ta write bad bout ooi..
dis is MY BLOG...
MY LIFE..
MY THOUGHTS..
i hate da skool and da teachers.

2003-09-28T00:42:00.000-07:00

sucky dae..
cant get along wit my dad..
irritating..
yesterdae was just as bad..
bleahx..
seem ta get agitated veh easily nowadays?..
...anw...
english exam was quite ok..
as in..
can understand..
but cannot answer...
crappy..
den went far east..
wasted da whole dae dere..
sorta regretted going?..
den went to borders ta get a bk..
very interesting place..
should go dere after exams n just read..
n read..
n read..
n read..
n read summore..
non-stop..
haha..
but for now...
i havta mug..
and only mug..
cant afford ta do badly..
so i'm off to MUG..first time in my life..
y-a-y...
=.missing.training.as.much.as.my.freedom.=

2003-09-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

haiz...
cant take it anymore...
two weeks seem like eternity...
days pass so fast...
i dun have e time to do anything...
been staying up til like..1-2 am evry nite..
cant study..
feel so suffocated...
like...i'm so lost...
dun noe why i'm studying...
dun noe da real reason...
onli noe i havta study or else i wont get to study somemore..
ironic...
i'm studying so i can study..
ha ha...
having lotsa headaches recently...
hinders my study..
why am i turning into a nerd?...
ppl said i've changed...
i'm more studious than i was...
is it true...
is this the real me...
will i turn out to be an antisocial nerd in the future...
who cant get along with ppl...
who is a lonely idiot who doesn't contribute much to society?
english end-of-year exam coming up..
two days to be exact...
pressured to do well..
worried for science..
and maths..
dunno what's gonna become of me..

willing.the.weeks.to.pass.like.minutes.while.willing.the.year.to.never.end

2003-09-22T02:28:00.000-07:00
bleahz..in com lab doin flash..
haha..veh nice..lolz..
but like dunno how late le..
ayez..so sianned..did it since like..
2pm le..now. 5.30!!!..
haiz..den havent studied..
think need to burn midnite oil agn..
lolx..i cant really care abt health consequences now..
haha..but my mum's been nagging,,
say wad..
bad for u..etc etc etc..
worse come to worse catch up on sleep in class after exams lo!
hahaha..ayez..
science lessons are gettin worse lo..
boring..misleading..bleah
how i noe..
lucky for me i got tution notes..
haha..den oso had Home Ec practical..
stoopid lm..
laugh so much oso dunno for wad..
hmpf..
ayez..wasting time now..but NVM!!!..haha
but i'll swear not to go online tonite!..
cant wait for da end of exams!

=wanna.start.training.dun.wanna.remember.it=

2003-09-21T03:33:00.000-07:00
hmmmz..okie..wasted my sunday editing my blog..
dunno wthr ok anot..
well..i wanna slack a bit..but..
very stressed..haiz..
wad am i turning into?..bleah..
got ppl comment i'm very nerdy liaoz..
not like last time..
welll..i think i'm more serious now..
with all these things..
sooner or later i'll reallyyyyy be a nerd..
just like HIM..YuCkZ!!!
i wanna be more pai...
hee..=X
bleah..now got some unwanted person readin our blogs..
***** very free can!..
crap lohz..
***** come here see den see lo..
is my privacy..
i cannot type wad i wan meh?
*i didNt nAmE anYonE*
lAlaLa...

2003-09-19T08:37:00.000-07:00
me using new blog..mebbe i'll copy n paste all my old stuff here..see first..haiz..recently been veh stressed..dunno why..mebbe its da pressure i'm giving myself..wanna go to trip science..haix..am i doin da rite thing?..dunno wthr shld go out tmr..dunno dis dunno dat..arghz..i totally dunno..
bleah..den art..irritated can!..i'm like doin da wholeeee thing!?!!..storyboard..movie..every single thing..haiz..
ok..fine..shall not dwell on it..i'm online ta relax..but sreiously..i havent been studying all dat hard..arghx,,dunno..anw..dis blog..shant haf da time ta edit...will after exams..lalalaz..